Arkham: Jason's tale
by Queen of dark rose
Summary: Jason and Sam finally get caught. A in-depth look at the mentality of the duo of doom. T for language.


Amazingly, I still own nothing.

No one could run forever. The staff at Arkham Asylum only sent one paddy wagon. I mean really, it's not like anyone was ever caught without help from the bat. So when the boys in blue brought in two major criminals by themselves, the applause was deafening. Jason was confirmed as insane so he went straight to Arkham. Sam however ,was thought to be sane, so she was sent to Blackgate Penitentiary. After the event known only as 'the spork incident,' Sam also went to Arkham. So now, sitting chained to the side of the van, Sam and Jason were not happy. Jason tried to shift to a more comfortable position, which wearing a straitjacket meant not in severe pain. "So… Escape plans are now in high demand," Jason said, trying not to break down completely .

Jason wasn't insane, not really. Batman/ Bruce, (and if you were Jason, you might know him as dad) wanted to make sure Jason was kept locked away. It was easier for Bruce to say his adopted son was insane than it was for him to admit that his second son was a criminal. So even after Jason passed the doctor's tests with flying colors, they wouldn't move him to a regular prison. Sam was insane in the sense that when transferred to Arkham she made a point to act like The Joker. Sam tried to clear her hair out of her eyes. "I hate to disappoint you but I don't have a plan for everything. Heck I don't even have a plan for most of our heists," Sam said as she struggled with the chain hooking her to the bench she was seated on.

After being carted into the foreboding Arkham building, they were settled into their cells. Conveniently, the cells were situated directly across from each other. Sign language was out, but lip reading was a talent both possessed. As soon as Sam was shoved into her cell, (all those people who say Arkham is a caring environment are full of it), she started screaming at the top of her lungs. Up and down the halls, so called super villains were coming to the front of their cells. Many of the not-so model citizens of Gotham were rather attached to Sam. After all , they had found her as a small child and raised her up to be a fine crook. Ivy, Harley and Catwoman had acted as the feminine part of Sam's world. All the villains of Gotham had taken care of her for at least a year. They all did it happily, as Scarecrow and Joker both had taken a shine to the little super powered, street kid. So when ever she got into trouble, there was always someone to help her in an escape on the condition that they could come too. So, when Jason didn't see any familiar faces he panicked. If no one knew they were in Arkham, no one would rescue Sam, and then no one would rescue him. Well, at least he could sleep for a while. If anything happened to him in his sleep, Sam's ear piercing scream was enough to wake the dead.

Sam did not like therapy. Of course, the new resident doctor wanted to speak to her the minute she woke up. She was half led, half dragged into the office. "So Ms. Warren I hear you've been very uncooperative with doctors in the past. Not to worry I'm no ordinary doctor." The man whose name was apparently Dr. Schmooby. Sam read the name plate on his desk and started laughing. "Is that seriously your name?" She gasped. " My name is Milton Schmooby. Your name is Samantha Jessica Warren known to many as Sam." Dr. Schmooby said with out missing a beat. "It says on my chart that you have attached yourself to Red Hood. Why is that Ms. Warren." Dr. Schmooby said looking at her as though he was watching a mildly amusing play. " Jason is my friend, that's all you need to know." Sam said eyes fixed on the small doctor. "Tomorrow you and Jason are going to come to my office together so I can watch you interact with one another." the doctor said motioning for a guard to remove Sam from his office.

Don't eat the peas said a voice in Jason's head. OK so maybe he is crazy. Um why? Also, who are you mysterious voice? It's me, Sam. Telepathy is one of the few powers I can use easily. does that mean you can read my mind? Yep. Shit. Really, I think I need brain bleach. Anyway we're going in for therapy together, so I thought we could choose which act to use. I am rather fond of the Joker/Harley Quinn act. Ew. No I hate that one. Obsessive fan girl(TM) ?. The little dork seems to think I'm only a criminal because you are. Once upon a time an upstanding citizen fell for a criminal. And said citizen became a criminal to spend more time with her not-so perfect match. That is what Dr. Schmooby seems to think happened. Dr. Schmooby? Yeah. Milton Schmooby. His parents were sadists I'm sure of it. Jason had to cover his face so the orderlies couldn't see how hard he was laughing. Jason gave Killer Croc his peas at lunch time. Apparently C-4 and peas were the same texture. The next morning It was time for therapy. Oh joy, now I have to go explain to a shrink that I didn't corrupt an innocent young mind. Jason thought this the moment the orderlies came to get him. Give the man a show. When Jason heard this he assumed that she would give him another clue as to what kind of show. When he entered the office he started laughing hysterically. The Doctor was small, pudgy and had small ferret eyes. At the moment the ferret eyes were fixed on Sam with pity. Jason had seen that look before. It meant that the person giving you would help you now and planned to stab you in the back later. Jason got that look a lot. " Now Jason as you can see Sam's straight jacket has been removed. Yours will stay in place. As I see it you are directly responsible for the condition of this lovely young woman and you shall have to fix her somehow." Dr. Schmooby said as he walked around his desk to place a hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam's crocodile tears became real tears. If Jason remembered correctly she had fractured her collar bone ramming into a cop that had a gun trained on Jason. Come to think of it Sam was rather protective. "Look doc, Sami was a criminal before I even considered it." Jason said trying to distract the doctor enough for Sam to recover. At that moment the guards were all summoned to escort The Joker to his cell. Leaving Dr. Schmooby alone with two convicted felons. Perfect. "Are you implying that this sweet girl is to blame for all of the murders you have committed?" Dr. Schmooby asked him marching over to look at Jason. The intended effect was probably to look down at Jason but the doc was so short even with Jason sitting he could still be looked down on by the man in the straight jacket. " Everyone is responsible for themselves. And as for this I corrupted her nonsense. We just met last…" Jason trailed off. It would be a year soon. Christmas to be exact. They hadn't had a celebration last year because Jason was in a mini-coma for the entire holiday season. The small doctor walked behind his desk and opened a drawer. "I managed to get a hold of a crowbar that was said to have killed robin. Tell me Jason, did you two meet before or after you killed my brother?". Jason caught Sam's gaze. If the crazy man had a crowbar and a grievance…. Some serious panicking was in order. The stout man only managed to get in one blow to Jason's ribs before Sam roundhouse kicked him in the back of the head. Jason's ribs had been broken before the crowbar incident. Now the amount of blood he was coughing up would alarm anyone. Sam kicked Dr. Schmooby a few times before rushing over to help Jason. As she was undoing the straight jacket she said " I really have no clue how to deal with collapsed lungs. I know you have one I can hear it in your breathing.". when she managed to get Jason on his feet he collapsed again almost instantly. " Drugged." Was the only word out of Jason's mouth that made any sense. Well this was just great. Sam did her best to shift to a form with super strength. After finding an acceptable form Sam checked the straight jacket she had taken off Jason. She found that a needle was positioned so that if anyone who didn't know the exact way to remove the jacket tried to remove it the patient would be injected. Sam had chosen to copy Supergirl's powers. After cutting through the wall with laser vision Sam scooped up Jason and carried him into the sun light bridal style (A/N: oppa gangham style!). Once in the open Sam managed to fly into the city. Sam couldn't fly very far though so she landed in an alley. Snow started coming down as a Gotham blizzard kicked to life. Sam couldn't stay out in the snow with Jason. And she couldn't walk into a building carrying a semi conscious man. Luckily there was an abandoned building nearby. Entering Sam found there was a ratty couch. She promptly dumped Jason on the couch and left to find clothes that weren't gray jump suits. After mugging a shopper silly enough to walk through crime alley and getting supplies from one of the goons in Red Hood's employ Sam was back in the small room where she had left Jason.

Nightwing was not happy. First his little brother comes back from the dead, and then their father denies relationship to him. Now Batman had the nerve to tell, not ask tell, Nightwing (who doesn't even work with him) to go bring Jason back to Arkham. Dick had tried to tell Bruce that even if Jason was drugged Shadow would still protect him. But did he listen? Of course not. "Dick, don't be foolish. Shadow doesn't care for anyone but herself." Bruce snarled at dick as he searched for possible hiding places Jason might have found. " I beg to differ." Shadow had appeared right behind Dick without him noticing. Being a manly superhero he screamed like a little girl. Shadow laughed "Chill Dickie-bird.". "How do you know my name?" Dick asked becoming increasingly worried. " Jason told me." Shadow said as if it was the most natural thing in the world to know the location of the Bat cave. " I Just came to say. Merry Christmas!" Shadow said happily. Dick couldn't resist the temptation "And a happy new year!" he sang. Shadow laughed again "Speaking of which. Can I have your autograph?" she asked Nightwing hopefully. This has got to be the strangest thing in the Bat cave since Tim painted the Bat-mobile pink.

"You owe me a hundred bucks." Sam said as she walked into the living room of the Todd/Warren house. Jason, while recovering from the drugs that were in his system. Bet Sam that she couldn't get Nightwing's autograph. Naturally Sam took this challenge to heart. Jason was a hundred dollars poorer and Sam was happy. What could possibly be better? Batman was now looking for Sam as well as Jason. Well he was. Scarecrow heard The Bat was after Shadow. If there is one rule in Gotham it was do not under any circumstances mess with Scarecrow's little princess. Sam and Jason got out of town while Scarecrow (A.K.A: Jonathan Crane) Caused a distraction.

R AND R BITCHES! Seriously. I will cry... *Lip trembles, Shakes fist menacingly* Today I learned a valuable lesson...Review if you want to know what it is!


End file.
